Living Intentionally

I Love New Years! There is something very inspiring about getting to start over with all sorts of new possibilities. I look back at past years and think, "I had no idea on January 1st that we would be foster parents, or that we would be waiting to go to China or that I would run 13.1 miles." So on this January 1st, I get to imagine what God might do through me in the next 12 months and get excited.

That being said, I know that most things don't just happen without some intentional living. None of the above would have happened if I hadn't been looking for what God was prompting me to do. If we want to get healthier, raise children who love Jesus, or see more children adopted, then we have to plan for it. Intentional living means knowing what you want the end to look like and beginning the process by taking the steps needed to get there.

Have you ever felt the Lord directing you towards adoption? January is a great month to begin looking for adoption seminars. Find an adoption agency in your area and make a call. Check out a book from the library on the subject. It doesn't matter so much what you do, just do something. "A man plans his ways, but the Lord directs his footsteps."  This is a bible verse I learned many years ago and always serves to remind me that if I am living for God, he will direct me in the way I need to go. The only way I can mess up is not to go anywhere.

Jesus told a parable about a master who went on a trip and gave talents to his three servants. When the master returned, he commended the two who had done something with their talents, but the one who had hid his gift was declared "wicked and lazy." You see, God expects us to do something with what he gives us. Not using our gifts is equated to burying it. Basically, if you are not living the life God has for you, you are dead. You might as well be buried with your good intentions.

Right now, think of what God has laid on your heart and take a step in that direction.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

How was your holiday? Were you slightly disappointed because you didn't get something? Did you feel a bit ignored by someone or were annoyed by someone in your family or something that didn't turn out quite right i.e. Christmas dinner? Now that the big day is behind us, let's look at it with a little more perspective.
          Were you fed a good meal?      Were you warm?  
             Did you have someone give you a hug and tell you they loved you? 
Well then, you had a great day. So many children don't have these luxuries, yes I will call them that because feeling full, warm and loved is not basic in an orphanage.

Many of these children wait not because they have severe physical or emotional needs but because they are unseen. It is not easy to look at them and think about them; it is much easier to turn away. Maybe you aren't in a situation where you can adopt or maybe you have a different cause that you support so you skim over the topic and hope someone else will do something. Let me encourage you that you can do something. Please consider doing one of the following 4.

You can pray for these children that they will find their families.
You can talk about these children and share their pictures enabling them to be seen by others.
You can give money so that a family can adopt.
You can take that first step on the journey and walk into adoption. God will show you the next step and the one after that.

I feel blessed in this season because I have family, but mostly because I have a God who cared enough to send me a savior and adopt me into His family. Wishing that you may know the love of the Father this beautiful time of year.

"Can't" is going down.

Today I found myself thinking, "I can't do it." It doesn't matter what "it" was I thought I couldn't do, what matters is that I realized there was a limitation I had placed on myself. When I thought more about it and the many things I have done that I thought I couldn't, I understood that this was just another situation where I had a choice. The choice has always been this: stay where it is safe and only mildly stressfull OR go where you are unsure of yourself and your abilities. How many times in our lives have we turned aside from something that we knew would be difficult and thought, "I'll do this when..... when I'm stronger... when I'm older... when I have more money... when my life isn't so crazy......the list goes on and on.

 At the bottom of all these hesitations is a fear that we won't be good enough. So, today I decided "Can't" is going down.
     I won't stop just because I don't do something the best, or the fastest.
     I won't stop just because I hear 100 times how bad it was when someone else tried to do it.
     I won't stop just because I don't yet know how to do it.
     I won't stop just because I make mistakes and have to re-do it.
     I won't stop just because others have given up.

So, what is IT that you think you can't do?   Is it selling your house and moving, going back to school and getting a degree, writing a book, running a marathon or maybe adopting a child? I challenge you to take the first step toward "I can." This Sat. Nov. 23 is National Adoption Day and I will be taking a few hours to do what I thought I couldn't.  Join me?

"If God is for us who can be against us?"

New Beginnings

    

       "May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance." 2 Thes. 3:5

My oldest son was married last week and I spent a lot of time thinking about parenting him and how quickly the time went by. It seems but a few years since he was in little league, or sitting at our table learning his multiplication. Everyone told me that the time would go too quickly and I tried to heed their advice and enjoy every moment. I have no regrets as he begins his new life with his bride.

I say this because when some people think about adoption they think that they are too old or have waited too long to begin with another child and I want to remind them how quickly the years go by. There are many older children waiting for a family; children who are 8, 10 or older.  They only have a short time left before they will be adults, and right now they don't have anyone to show them what having a family means.

If you are reading this and feel God nudging your heart, take the next step. Search the web for an adoption agency and begin asking questions or go to rainbowkids.com or adoptuskids.org and look at the list of children who are waiting for a family.

Be The One

Use Your Opportunities

"Pray for us, too, that God will give us many opportunities to speak about his mysterious plan concerning Christ...Pray that I will proclaim this message as clearly as I should." Colossians 4: 3-4

     When Paul wrote these words in his letter to the Colossians, he was in chains; yet, he was still looking for a way to share the Gospel of Christ. He had "poured out his life," and could have rested at this point, but he knew that there was always one more person who needed to hear the message of grace and forgiveness. Someone near him needed to know about the free gift of eternal life.

                          This is exactly how I feel about the message of  
                                    Adoption. 
There are families out there that could open their hearts and homes to one of the more than 13,000,000 children. They need to know that the obstacles can be overcome. They need to hear that it doesn't matter how old they are or how much income they have. If God is in it, nothing is impossible.

I would like the churches to know how they can help families reach these kids by starting an orphan ministry.

I would like businesses to know how they can effect a positive change for an orphan in their community.

Friends, I can't do this alone. I need you to share this message so that people begin talking.  If we want to reach these 13,000,000 we can't rest. We must pray for opportunities and we must pray for the ability to clearly state how we can bring these children home.

If you, your church, your organization or your business are concerned about orphans, let me come and speak. Give me an opportunity to share what I believe is the heart of God.

        Be The One 

Nothing To Lose

  
  Who has the most joy in their life; the person who has everything to lose, or the person who has nothing to lose?  When an individual has many possessions and is comfortable, he or she has a hard time making any kind of change in their lives. They are afraid to lose everything. Compare this to someone who has decided that they don't need everything and that God knows better what is required in their lives.

     There is a secret to having Joy in your life and it does not involve possessions, careers, money or feeling busy. On the contrary, it often involves losing all of these things, not because they are bad in themselves, but because they create the idea that a person has done something themselves and God can not work through someone who is leading their own way.

     There is a line in a song by the Newsboys that says, "you say I'm living like a beggar; I call it killing the fool."  I love this line because we must all constantly "kill the fool." The fool is the part of us that wants to look like "someone," the person who wants to be noticed either for who we are or what we've done. When we get rid of the fool, we are open to whatever God wants to do in our lives. We have gotten rid of all our expectations of what out lives should look like or what we will become. We have nothing to lose because we have already laid it at the foot of the cross.

     When God puts a call on your life, can you easily say "Yes, Lord," or do you argue and tell him why it is impossible? I encourage you to get rid of all the superfluous parts that have no eternal value and become a person who has nothing to lose.

                 BE THE ONE

The seed, the plant and the fruit.

    

       
                "May our sons flourish in their youth like well-nurtured plants." Psalm 144: 12     

      I've been in the garden a lot this summer with my adopted son. He loves growing plants. He loves the planting and the picking and even the weeding. When we first started showing him how to garden, he was amazed that the little seeds ended up to be big plants. The kernels of corn grow to ears with silk attached. Radishes are small specks and grow quickly. Flowers are the same way. A small hand is large compared to the tiny grains of life that develop into beautiful colors.
   
     I realized recently that we are the same way with out children. We see them when they are small and we think we know what they will look like when they are grown.  We see a bean seed and think we know, "our child will be a bean, of course."  However, God has the blueprint and often what our children will become is not what we image. Over the last 22 years of being a parent, I have been amazed and surprised to see what my children have developed into. Their interests are varied: from hockey and calculus to dance and Shakespeare. From journalism and baseball to horses and soccer.
   
     As parents of children we haven't birthed, I think we do more watching than expecting. We don't have genetics to go from, so we pay more attention to their interests. Sometimes we, knowing their past, try and steer them away from certain things.  We need to remember that their interests come from God and he is the one growing them. We can never truly know what the final result will be: what God is creating for His glory.  

     We must remember that God uses everything. He uses the earthworm and the rain, the sun and the minerals from rocks to raise up for himself  "well-nurtured plants." We then only need to tend them; to make sure they get enough water and that the sun does not wither them. We need to keep out the harmful pests and sometimes stake them next to a strong support so that they will grow tall
 
      Once the plant is grown, there should also be fruit; however, sometimes the fruit takes years to grow. The apple tree planted won't produce fruit for many seasons. The watermelon may look ripe on the outside but on the inside it is still undeveloped and needing many days to ripen. It takes patience to be a gardener and it takes patience to be a parent especially an adoptive parent. Praise God that he is patient with us and that he is not finished with me (or the children given to me) yet.

                    Be The One

God will bring it to completion.

  I was reading out of the Gospel of Luke recently about the temptation of Jesus and I noticed something new. It said, "he (the devil) left him (Jesus) until an opportune time." Often we think of the temptation of Jesus as being a 1x thing, but it was ongoing in his ministry. Jesus confronted Satan often. It is the same with us - Satan comes at "opportune" times when we are at our weakest, when something is at stake, or when we are ready to move into something God has for us.

     I recently realized, as I was having a lot of difficulty with one of my adopted children, that Satan was using  the difficulty to try and ruin my credibility with adoption. I heard this small voice saying, "How can you advocate for adoption, if your own adopted kid is wrecking havoc on your family?"

     As soon as this thought came into my mind, I recognized it for what it was - a spiritual battle. Praise God that this was followed quickly with a sense of God's strength. I did not have to listen to that lie. I could pray my way through using scripture and remembering God' promises. How one of my children turn out does not prove or disprove whether we should adopt, anymore than what a child born to you becomes can prove or disprove whether you should have kids. I don't have to make it work. I only have to be obedient.

     I didn't ask for adoption anymore that I asked for birth children. They are a part of my life, a blessed part, and I will train them up under God's guidance, but it is God who will bring them to completion.


              BE THE ONE

The Albaster Jar

God showed me something today. I was reading a book in which the author reviewed the story of the woman breaking her alabaster jar and pouring the expensive perfumed oil on Jesus's feet. This author asked several questions which really made me think and I wanted to share some of my thoughts because often when we come to the question of adoption, we ask ourselves How much does God really want us to do? and How much sacrifice is good for our family?

The first question is what is waste?  Both Judas and the disciples thought the woman was wasting the oil by pouring it on the feet of Jesus. One definition of  waste is "to spend or use carelessly or uselessly." What they were saying was that there came a point where giving to Jesus went beyond what was acceptable. Now coming from Judas (someone who did not Know the Lord), this criticism is understandable and most Christians can dismiss it by saying he was greedy. However, it was the rest of the disciples who we should look at. They were Indignant (Mark 14:4). They obviously thought that there came a point where we "waste ourselves" on our Lord. There might be a point where he asks too much of us.

So, the second question is this: When do we think God is asking too much? Do you ever find yourself saying, "God, you know I love you, but this thing is too hard. I will follow where you want me to go, but I've got to draw the line right here___________." Friends, I have thought this. I have thought that maybe God was asking too much. Surely, he wouldn't want me to sacrifice my family, or my relationships, or my health to do this thing. After reading this scripture again, it made me want to cry. How sad that after giving our lives to the Lord and accepting his gift of salvation we still hold something(s) back.

Question three then is this: Do you trust Jesus? If, after going half way on this journey he has you on, do you stop and look back as Lot's wife did, sighing at having wasted something? If so then you have not given your whole heart. Mary did not hesitate to give everything. There was no regret in her actions; only total surrender to the One who had given her true Life. We know God is love and his will is perfect. We also know he never asks us to do something we can't handle (without his help). If we trust Him, we will give up all our worries, anxiety and doubts, and embrace His will in our lives.

Question four: What is in your alabaster jar? or What do you need to waste on Jesus?
Is is a comfortable life, your retirement, your youth or your strength? Could it be your family, your children, your career or your hobbies? Remember Jesus said "no one who has left (broken their jar) home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times (emphasis mine) as much in this present age... and in the age to come, eternal life." (Mark 10:29-30)

My prayer for those reading this is that God will show you (and me) what we need to give up to him who gave his all to us. That we would readily give that thing up and joyfully walk forward into his will for our lives.

                                                           Be The One 

I stand at the door and knock

Today is a special day for our family. It is the anniversary of the day we added a child through adoption.
June 13, 2011 was our "Gotcha Day" in Shanghai, China. But the story began way before that.....
It was April 2008 when I had a dream of being present at the birth of a child; a child who was born "imperfect". I held the baby and stared into eyes that were brilliant, as the "aunts" left the room and the mother refused to look at the child. I wept for the baby who had been rejected. When I woke, I knew that there was a child somewhere that needed a mommy.

It was two years before I saw Evan's picture on a waiting child listing. On a June morning in 2010, I saw him and I knew that this was the child. I called my husband, who was in a hotel in Colorado and told him I had found Evan, for that is what I had been calling this "waiting child." Throughout the next year, we filled out stacks of paper and went to appointments. I never once doubted that Evan was our son for I knew him even though I had never met him.

Is there a child knocking at your door? Are you hesitant to open that door not knowing what you'll find?  I encourage you to open it and take a look. It may be that God has a wonderful journey waiting for you. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it. I have a link on this blog to a website called rainbowkids. This is the wonderful site that linked us to Evan. If you feel someone is knocking, take a look.

BE THE ONE

First 5K Run a Success/ Gifted Family Meets their Daughter

   

       What a great week-end this turned out to be! We had 30 people come to our run/walk and support Be The One. Our over-all winner was Ryan Salmon who ran with a time of 20:39. Right behind him was the 18 and over winner, Marc Loveless, with a time of 20:46. I do not think either of these young men had ever run a 5K before. The winner of the walker division was Julie Loveless with a time of 36:45. We raised over $500.00 for the agency! The morning was beautiful and we had young children and even a few canines helping us out. Thank you to all who came and donated to the cause of seeing orphans in their forever families. .

      A special thank you to Concord Community Church for hosting the event.

     Another bright spot for the day was that I saw our first grant recipient united with their daughter. They are in Shanghai right now and beginning their 2nd day with her. May God bless them on this journey.

FIRST GRANT GIVEN TODAY

Today is a momentous day; one I will savor because of its importance. Today Be The One Inc. awarded its first $500.00 grant to a family who will be leaving May 24th to go to China and gather up their daughter to bring her home.

 When I first was in contact with this family, I told them that I didn't have the money yet, but to send me their information and we'd see what God would do.  A few short weeks later I discovered they had gotten their travel approval and I was a bit sad because they would be leaving a day before our next fundraiser, the Run for the 1. Tuesday I had a friend drop off some money for the run and it dawned on me that we had gone over $500.00.

The next morning, I was praying; asking God if this was the family and if we had enough money and I read the following verse in Psalms: "Let them know that it is your hand, that you, O Lord, have done it. (Psalm 109:27) I felt God telling me that He was doing this. I excitedly contacted their agency and got our board approval and today I wrote out the check!

I am so thankful that God has allowed me to be a part of this and pray that we are able to quickly bless another family.

Two Mothers

Behind every adopted child stands two mothers. One is plainly visible and one is obscure. One definition of obscure given in the dictionary is "not readily understood." This is the obscurity of the birth mother. Unless the adoption is open and there has been communication, the birth mom remains a shadow; always present yet indistinct.

A child who wonders about where they came from may have a picture, yet they have no facts to go with it. Or, if there are facts, they are sketchy. There may be a clear reason the child was given a second home, such as illness or abuse, yet the feelings, emotions and the histories that go with these facts are never told.

Both my sons have birth moms. One has a name and picture, the other probably never will. One seemed to have given up her rights because of selfishness, the other may have been selfless. However, the one thing that links them together is that they both are left to wonder where their child is and how they are doing.

For all the birth moms out there left wondering, I say thank you. Thank you for giving your children Life. Your sons and daughters are being cared for. They are treasured, safe and well. They are growing strong and learning new things every day. They run, jump, climb, and swim. They play soccer, baseball, basketball and hockey. They dance, draw, and sing. They say their prayers at night and in those prayers they remember you.

Run For The 1

 

Run For The 1

 What: Fun run/walk to raise funds for adoption advocacy

Where: Concord Community Church, Patriot, Indiana

When: May 25, 2013

Registration: 8:30am

Start time: 9:00am

The 3.1 mile course is mostly flat and will be an out and back along the Ohio River.

Cost: $20.00 (includes t-shirt) paid to Be The One, Inc

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Name:

Address:

Male/Female         Age: _____    T-shirt size: Adult  S  M  L  XL

Be The One, Inc. is a not for profit organization committed to seeing orphans united with their forever families.

Getting Un-STUCK

My husband and I attended the documentary STUCK last night. This film is touring the nation on its way to Wash. D.C. as a way to bring awareness of all the orphans who are Stuck in orphanages around the world due to government bureaucracy, and misconceptions about orphans and the process. Having adopted from China, which is one of the better programs, I am amazed at how long the process takes in some countries. The average wait for a child is 33 months. These are the most formative years of a child and they are being neglected.

I was shocked to hear that international adoptions have declined by 60% in the last ten years. This is amazing since there are over Ten Million orphans in the world. We need to put pressure on our legislatures to make the process void of red tape in this country. For example, is it really necessary to have a couple fingerprinted by their local police, the state police and the FBI? And once done, why must it be updated if a couple decides to adopt an additional child?

I was also shocked to learn some of what UNICEF is doing. Just as in our poorly run foster care system, children who could be adopted are waiting because someone mistakenly believes that it is better for the child to remain where they are in hopes that they can stay in their environment. They are advocating that there should be domestic adoption or foster care systems in some of the poorest countries in the world. I'm sorry, but foster care is not a permanent place; it is transitory, and while domestic adoptions would be great, it just doesn't happen.

How does all this information effect Be The One? Well, it makes our advocacy more urgent.
Please consider joining us by praying and donating; helping one more family bring one more child into their forever family.

God is Moving

    I had a great week-end in which I celebrated the birth of two of my sons and my mother's 80th birthday. During this time, God showed me that he wants me to get out and speak to groups about his heart for adoption. I had been stressing about fundraising ideas and realized that I just need to share my story and encourage those God is calling to adopt. It is amazing how when we get on the right path, things get moving.

      So, if your church, women's group, prayer group or any other group you can think of is interested in hearing about the process of adoption or how they can support others who are adopting, I would love to talk to them. Let's start the conversation!

Is Adoption Difficult?

IS ADOPTION DIFFICULT?

When someone asks me if the process of adoption is difficult I say:

No, as long as you don’t mind filling out the same piece of paperwork six times.

No, as long as you don’t mind strangers coming into your home eying your dying plants strangely.

No, as long as you don’t mind routinely mailing your social security number and gross income to anyone who happens to ask for it.

No, as long as you don’t mind having your fingerprints taken by your local police, state police and very friendly federal agents.

No, as long as you don’t mind acquaintances and family asking you strange questions like, “what if he doesn’t want to be adopted?”

No, as long as you don’t mind a caseworker measuring your rooms to see if you have room for 1 more child.

No, as long as you don’t mind writing a 10 page autobiography on your “not so perfect” childhood and your weird relations.

No, as long as you don’t mind a child’s face falling when he realizes he is not on a sleepover.

No, as long as you don’t mind not being able to grocery shop without getting a babysitter and calling it a date.

No, as long as you don’t mind packing scabies medicine and vowing not to eat fresh fruit and vegetables for 2 weeks

            Adoption may not be easy, but it is worth it.

Only a Few Days Left!

   

  There are only a few days left in our 1st fundraiser. If you haven't yet given a donation, will you please consider sending $1.00 for Be The One. 100% of funds received will be given to a family in the process of adopting a child. For those of you who home-school and donate, I'll enter you into a drawing for a years subscription to This Old Schoolhouse. To be eligible, send your donation by April 15th and indicate that you would like to be entered.

     "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Learning to Serve

          This day, this week, God is trying to once again teach me what it means to serve.

In John chapter 13, Jesus tells his disciples, "A person who has had a bath needs only to wash his feet; his whole body is clean." And then he washed their feet. He was telling them that they were clean (saved) and yet something more was required. They were being told to wash one another's feet. In fact, Jesus told them they would be blessed if they did these things. This conversation wasn't really all about feet. It was about serving. There is something tempting about accepting Jesus' sacrifice and believing nothing more is required of us. Of course we can't add anything to His sacrifice to gain our salvation, but once we are saved, he expects us to do what he did: Selfless Sacrifice and Service.

I realize that I may be good at serving others who I know will appreciate my efforts, but I am terrible at serving those who don't notice or who take it for granted and feel they deserve it. Yet, Jesus washed the feet of all of his disciples, even Judas who would betray him. We are not asked to serve who we want to, how we want to, or even when we feel like it. Often our service is to people who are difficult, in ways that are unrewarding, and at times that are inconvenient.

I feel called to advocate for the orphans of this world, but that doesn't mean it will be easy. It may be my passion, but it is hard. Raising children, disciplining new believers, training co-workers all require laying down your life in order to improve someone else's. Serving the world takes sacrifice - daily. Let us go about it joyfully so that we can share our master's happiness.

BE THE ONE

always hopes, always perseveres

     What does it take to persevere when day after day things don't get better? What about when instead of getting better they get tougher? There is only one thing that will help you through times like this and that is hope. If faith is the ability to see what others can't, than hope is the ability to see the future that others won't. Many can look at a child in need and feel empathy, some will give money, some will pray, but who will look forward to what plans God has for this child and act according to what they see in the future?
     I often wonder why God wants to use me when I mess up so often. Of course it has nothing to do with me. God uses the weak so that his power and grace shine. I see now that within my hard days, there is a greater purpose. I tell my kids that if something is worth having, it is worth working for. Likewise if something is worth hoping for, it is worth persevering for. Love Never Fails.

             Be The One

..... always trusts

     Trust is the ability to believe that what someone says will happen, will, or what someone tells you is true, is. When a child trusts their parents, they will do things that don't make sense to them simply because someone they love told them to. Have you ever seen a parent at the bottom of a slide coaxing their child, "come on, you won't fall?" It is the same with us and God. If we trust God, we believe that he loves us and will only do what is best for us. This allows us to go ahead and do things that don't seem safe to us.
     When God showed us our 6th child, he was living in China: a six year old boy labeled with epilepsy. I knew immediately that this was the child God meant for our son. I also knew that as soon as we said yes all the questions would start: people wondering whether it was smart adopting a boy that old, with a diagnosis we had never experienced. We were cautioned to thoroughly look into the agency and many shared the horror stories they knew of others who had tried to adopt an older child and failed. Yet, it didn't matter what I thought might happen, I had to trust that God knew what would happen. It also was irrelevant that this child was half way around the world. I knew that God loved us and this boy and I could trust Him to bring it to completion. It didn't have to be a good idea, it was a God idea.

                                     Be The One

It always protects

  
 In what way can love protect us or those we love?  The 42nd chapter of Isaiah gives us a clue. He says that "A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out." Do we know people we would classify as bruised; people who have been injured by the world and are struggling in their life.  These are the ones love needs to protect. We shouldn't be the type of person who echos the world saying "your not good enough," or "you don't know anything." Instead, we need to be encouragers. We refuse to break the reed or snuff out the wick when we stand beside the one who is torn and let them know that God has great plans for them.
     This is especially true when it comes to children who are the "least of these" and our most precious possessions. God has given us these young plants to nurture. We need to protect them from the lies of this world and the counterfeit. Whether a child is our own or an orphan in another country, they need the love of a caring adult who is willing to see the potential God put inside of them and advocate for them. Love always protects even if it is hard.

                                   Be The One

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

 
  Do you notice how evil and truth are shown as opposites here? Why is it our society has such an addiction to evil and such a horror of the truth? Don't believe this is true? Just look at any popular t.v. show and what is seen as funny. It usually entails someone being embarrased, humiliated, put down or "getting what they deserve." We know these things aren't right;however, it is so prevalent in our culture we have a hard time not delighting in it. We tease those we love about their faults making it harder for them to see themselves in a positive way.
     Truth, on the other hand, is shown as something worth rejoicing over. When I hear this I can't help but think of one of my children who has a difficult time with gettting things right. I'm always hoping he or she makes the right decision in a situation; and when they do, I feel like jumping up and down. I get excited because they have chosen truth and are living the way God meant them to. We need to see the true character in our children and share it with them. Instead of saying, "stop acting like a clown," we can say, "please act like the young man God made you to be." When we do this, we help them understand who they were made to be so that they can live out that truth. 

                              Be The One 

...it keeps no record of wrongs

     For those of us who know the good news of Christianity, we understand that our joy does not come soley from the death of Christ or the resurrection story, it comes from both because through both we have both forgiveness and new life. The good news is that because of those, our sins are not only forgiven, but completely forgotten. The bible says "as far as the east is from the west," which means no way, ever will we see them again. It is amazing that God chooses to forget. Now, God knows all things, so how can he not remember? Its not that he can't, but that he won't. He does this because he wants to have a relationship with us.
      We also have this same ability (choice) to forget things that have hurt us. If we want to stay in relationship with someone, we must forget. How do we do this? Just like patience we must practice pushing the nagging thoughts and hurt to the side, or better yet throw them away. When we find our thoughts wandering into dangerous teritory, we must turn them to something else. It takes effort but is well worth it. Sing a song, recite a bible verse, or think of something pleasant that you can thank God for. We must do this for as we do to others, so shall it be done to us.

                              Be The One

it is not easily angered

  
  Love and anger seem to be polar opposites, so how is it that we get so angry with those we love?  Could it be that we have the wrong definition of love? It is said that love is a decision and not an emotion. This is so true when it comes to adoption. There is no nine months of being the protective covering and no birth; instead there is the decision to take a child totally outside of yourself and give them that covering. When we are in a situation that angers us, we need to realize that we do have a choice to be angry or not. If we let ourselves get angry, we are saying that I am inconvenienced, disappointed, embarrassed or hurt. We are focusing on us not the other person.
      I have an angry child and I have learned alot about what triggers anger. It is often for self-preservation or perceived self-preservation. But, if we are not self-seeking any longer than anger can take a back seat to LOVE. We can look those situations in the face and say "I'm not more important than this person and my needs are not more valid." We decide to Love no matter what it costs us. That's what Jesus did for us and what he expects us to do for others.

                              Be The One

It is not self-seeking ...

  
  I've never thought of myself as a selfish person, but I am. We all are as evidenced by the fact that we'd rather sneak chocolate than share with our kids, we get mad when things don't go according to OUR plans and if someone is doing something fun, they should have asked us.
      Lately, I've noticed myself grumbling a bit more than normal. I ask God to give me joy but then get annoyed at how my day is progressing. I lament that I've spent so much time on the kids that I haven't got to do my stuff. Attention! God does not give joy when we are looking out for ourselves. Joy is a fruit of a spirit devoted to him and that means serving Jesus in any way he asks.
      We have to go back to where our focus is. If it is on ourself, we will be self-seeking. If we want to be love to those around us, we must start looking at God.

                            Be The One
     

It is not rude

    What is being rude? Is it calling names, rushing in front of someone at the store or taking the good parking spot? Is it gossiping about someone in church, is it hanging up on a customer service person, or is it giving our spouse a dirty look when they turn around?
      I try really hard to be nice to everyone but as I was reading the verse I couldn't help but think of sarcasm. The word literally means to tear the flesh. Unfortunately, sarcasm is so prevalent in not only our world but our families. We should be loving our families above all, yet we find ourselves tearing them down with small digs.  I think the reason is not that we want to do harm but rather we want to be funny.
      I pray that God will stop me before I say anything flippant that will tear into the fabric I work so hard to knit.  It doesn't matter if our kids are 8 or 18, it still matters that they know they are valued beyond everything else.

                                 Be The One 

It is not proud

      "I can do all things THROUGH HIM that strengthens me,"or conversely, I can do nothing without the Holy Spirit. Yes, I can function, do my job and sometimes even do it well, but I can not do the tasks God has given me to do on my own.  I would (and have) make a giant mess of anything I tried to do through my own strength because I don't know the big picture. Luckily God does and he says that he will equip us with all that we need. I can not be proud of my accomplishments because they really are not mine; they are God's. There are those who tell me my family is wonderful because we adopted. While, I thank them, I try to give all the credit to God. If it wasn't for him, we never would have been able to adopt.  We would have rushed in foolishly instead of waiting on him. We would never have had the courage or the finances to travel to the other side of the world unless he provided it. And... quite frankly, I would be bald with pulling my hair out on some days if it wasn't for his provision of the people around me. Love can not be proud; it is too busy focusing on others.

                                               Be The One

It does not boast

    
Love does not boast.  Paul tells us that if we boast, we should boast in Jesus.  We can do nothing of ourselves so it profits no one to have them watch us. Instead, we need to point them to Jesus and boast of all the great things he has done for us. Again, it goes back to being thankful. So here is a partial list of the things Jesus has done for me.

• saved me from my sins
• gave me a Christian husband
• blessed me with 6 children
• provided a home, friends and family
• provided Dan with a job when he lost his.
• has healed me physically
• has healed Avery
• took us to China and back safely giving us a son who immediately bonded with us
• showed us his heart for adoption and walked with us every step
• provided in advance all that we need for the work he's called us to

                                             Be The One

It does not envy

Envy.... it is so easy to recognize in others, so ugly in ourselves. Envy is worse than wanting what others have, it is not being thankful for what God has given us. Have you ever had a child who turned away from a gift you thought he'd love and looked at someone else's with longing, or who has outright told you, "mom, I really wanted the other kind?" You realize it wasn't that he didn't receive a wonderful gift, it was that he was looking at the wrong thing. We do the same. When we feel that desire for something we don't have, we are focusing on the wrong thing. Love looks at what it has and the God who has provided it. Love realizes that God knows what we need and when we need it because he is our loving father.

                                                 BE THE ONE

...And Kind

     1st Corinthians states that love is not only patient, but also kind. Interestingly these two words are linked together. We are not to be patient at some times and kind at others, we are to be kind while we are being patient. This is not easy.  Not only do I have to wait (nicely) in line but I have to be kind at the same time. This does not mean giving the person behind me "the Look" saying "can you believe this lady?" It's smiling at the one causing me annoyance and telling her "it's fine, we've all had problems with getting the wrong kind of toilet paper, or no price on the one thing you really need."

     The lack of patience we have is usually due to us not wanting to be bothered with something or someone. We feel that we are more important then they are. Thank goodness that Jesus did not have this attitude.  He made time for the lepers, the cripples and the children; seeing them as more valuable then gold. He looked at those in front of him and saw them as if they were the only 1s around; the most priceless treasure in the world. Now, that is Love!

                                                            Be The One

Love is Patient

     Since I like to think of February as the month of love, I'm going back to 1Corinthians 13 for 14 days to see what love is.  Love is first of all patient. If God is love and we have God in us, then we should Be patient. We should be patient with our children when they aren't going as fast as we'd like, we should be patient with our spouses when they don't act the way we think they should (we do the same things), we should be patient with a world that is broken.
     Everyone has patience, especially those who belong to Jesus; however only some choose to practice patience. It's like running. If I want to be a better runner, I have to make myself run. I'd never enter a race unless I had trained for it. If I want to be more patient, I have to practice patience everyday. This is easiest if I am anticipating those things that cause me to become impatient. So, I plan on my kids spilling their juice and I plan on a slow driver and I plan on waiting at the grocery store and when I have difficulty, I remember how patient God is with me when I mess up, am slow to understand and when he is waiting for me to move ahead.

                                                         BE THE ONE

$1.00 for Be The One

So, sticking with the theme of 1(one) we have decided to kick off our fundraising by making our first fundraiser all about 1.  In an effort to raise our first $1 thousand, I am asking all of you to donate just 1 dollar.  I don't know if I have 1 thousand friends, but I bet with a little help we can get this to 1 thousand people.  It may seem insignificant just as 1 child out of 13 million seems insignificant, yet we know that the 1 child is vastly important to God. Your 1 dollar is also vastly important to us.

I am sending this out in faith that God will take these 1's and multiply them for his kingdom. I was going to wait until I had a paypal account and a p.o. box and my 501(c)(3), but I feel that the more time I take to think through these decisions, the more it's about me and less about what God is doing. So, while I am doing the above, I'm asking you to go ahead and send your 1 to the address listed below.  If you don't think your 1 is significant, just watch.

13 million orphans - 1 = Be The One

 Winston Churchill once said that "It's not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what's required."

   In our busy worlds, we try to comfort ourselves that we are taking care of our families, helping when we can and giving what we can spare.  Usually I congratulate myself that I made it through the day and the kids have all been fed and are healthy. It's not that I don't want to do more, I'm just tired.
I'd like to just tune out the world but I know that there are children out there who go to bed hungry and wishing for a home. No, I can't save them all, but I'm hoping to save just 1 more.

    So I have started a non-profit agency called Be The One. We will be raising money to financially help families who are in the process of adopting in order to bring 1 more child home.

   I'm sensing a pattern here.