New Year-What Now?

Happy New Year. There is a lot to enjoy about a new year: a fresh page to write on, a clean slate, new possibilities. Yet most people don't know how to utilize their writing utensils; they expect the writing to be done as if by magic or they ask God to do the painting. While we should have the will of God in the forefront of whatever we endeavor, He expects us to use the pen he has given us. It's called living intentionally.

Intentional living is looking at goals and walking towards them. If you want to have kids that Love the Lord, you need to know what that looks like, what actions make it happen and then begin to do those things.
Do you want to live for God? Then you need to know him and his calling on your life. If you have felt compelled in your past to start a bible study, go on a mission trip or help the homeless but never took a step in that direction, you must do the things that will get you there: call your pastor, set aside money, take a class etc.

This could be the year you see God do amazing things. It will not be because he hasn't been doing them all along. It Will be because you are walking towards his plan.

Happy 2016!
Be The One to Live Intentionally.

Being Brave

Recently I was rereading the book Number The Stars to my sons when I noticed a parallel between the story and adoption. For those who haven't read it, the story is set in Denmark during the Nazi occupation. There are two families: one Jewish and their best friends who are not. The plot revolves around the Christian family trying to help the Jewish family escape. The young girl who is the main character asks her adult relatives many questions and she is told  "It is easier to be brave if you don't know everything."

This resonated with me because the same is true of adoption. If we knew all the facts of a child before we committed, we might never commit. It is good to go into an adoption with your eyes wide open and knowing as much as you can, but at some point you have to walk by faith and take a blind leap. I remember when I first called Dr. Number 1 ( a referral from someone) to look over our "potential" son's medical file. She reviewed the file and then gave me every worst case scenario concerning what the boy might require both medically and psychologically.  While I appreciated her honesty about all the unknowns, I quickly decided she wasn't the right doctor for me. I wanted someone who saw the possibilities in the child.

Having adopted before and having gone to countless trainings, I knew the negative consequences of living in a foreign orphanage or foster care. The problem is that there were so many unknowns and we couldn't prepare for all of them. I didn't believe God wanted us to know everything before saying "yes" to the child. We knew he was parent-less, we knew he had been in the orphanage for 5 plus years and we knew his medical diagnosis. Beyond these facts, we had to be Brave and pray that God was leading us and he would provide everything we would need.

The story ends with the young girl helping her friends avoid detection because she could not give away what she didn't know.  And our story?  Our son is healthy without any signs of the original diagnosis let alone imagined ones. 

Be The One to be Brave.

When Our Kids Mess Up

Over the last couple weeks one of our children fell into a sinful act on 2 occasions. I say fell because as far as I know it wasn't something that he was prone to or had been struggling with. I won't elaborate on the what but I will say it took my husband and I by surprise. It felt like we had been sucker punched and we were left speechless because it wasn't on our radar. So what were we to do; our normally compliant child had crossed over a few lines and their response to our "why?" was a typical, "I don't know."

So.... We aren't perfect parents raising perfect kids. Duh, we knew this but usually we feel we have a pretty good handle on things and it will all turn out o.k. in the end. But, what if our parenting results in kids who keep failing at what we are trying to teach them? What if we wake up every morning from now to retirement saying, "Maybe this will be the day it will be better?"

Searching for the answer I had to go back to what I know is true because the devil was trying so hard to tell me that this "adoption experiment" was failing. He was telling me that my husband and I, with our love, encouragement and discipline, had kids that fell. Luckily the bible is clear on a few things.

1. We all have fallen short of the glory of God. (Rom. 3:23)
Jesus said that anyone who breaks one of the laws is the same as if he broke the whole law. The kind of sin is not as important as what we do next. As parents who have fallen multiple times ourselves, we must let the child know that their actions are the result of a "sin" problem not the result of them being bad. They need to realize that this "sin" problem is why Jesus came into the world and died. They need to understand that Jesus is the answer to whatever "sin" problem they have.

2. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from All unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)
We, as parents, need to make sure our kids understand that God has a plan for them and when they fall, they only need to repent in order to know forgiveness. They don't need to carry around the shame of their sin for the next 10 years. We parents need to remember that if God has forgiven and forgotten All of their acts, we must do no less. We have to move on; not being naive, but not dredging up a past event.

3. Work out your salvation with fear and trembling. (Phil. 2:12)
All of us struggle with certain sin areas in our life. We may struggle with anger, pride, vanity, lying etc. The struggle is not the sin. We have a savior who is with us and who has overcome sin. Knowing your weakness is half the battle; the other half is the "working it out." I tell my children where they have strength and where they have weakness so they can prepare themselves for the next temptation that comes their way. Talk to your children when they are not in a time of struggle and let them know again that they are loved and you are praying for them, but it is up to them to work on these areas.

I have learned much recently about God. I knew that he was a Good Father and that his love has been rejected many times by those he loves, but I had forgotten that All of his chosen children, those of us who call ourselves "Christians" still Fall everyday. The good news is that we, like our children, will wake up one day and find that the struggle is over and that we are with Christ.

Be The One

Saving us from "Being Good."

Recently, I was at a convention where I had a booth for Be The One. I wanted to talk with people about the orphan crisis and share with them the need for adoptive families. I also wanted to encourage those who have taken the first steps and were looking onto adoption. I had many individuals stop by the booth to see what we did and many admitted that they had thought of adopting. Statistically, 30% of adults have thought about adoption, yet sadly only 1% follow through for various reasons. With all the conversations on that weekend, the saddest one occurred with a father of two children. When I asked if he had ever thought of adoption, he said very matter-of-factly, I have 2 children and "we're good." 

 Many people think they are good because they have all the trappings of a good life: marriage, children, job, church, friends. However, if we want to be honest about our Christianity and what we are called to do, it is not to be "good." In fact, Psalm 14:3 says "there is no one who does good, not even one."  Jesus calls us to live dangerously. (What else could "take up your cross and follow me mean?) Those of us who have stepped out in one way or another understand that we are not here for ourselves but for the other billions of people on this planet. Only God is good. We are called to be holy (set apart for a purpose) as Jesus is holy. This can only be accomplished if we are doing the purpose we have been called to. We can never be good if our only measuring tool is how full our life is of activities or even of blessings.

I know there are many people who are serving Christ in various ministries and I love hearing their stories as much as adoption stories because they are moving in the direction of becoming more like Jesus. What I dislike hearing is Christians thinking they're good when in fact they are standing still; not following the promptings of the Holy Spirit. If you have felt that nudging in a certain direction, I urge you to do more than "be good." I urge you to pray that the God who is good will lead you into the good purpose he has for you.

 Be The One


     

A Tale of Two Mailboxes