Accepting The Gift

I can not write this post without telling you what I think is one of the most disturbing things about giving gifts. Many people think of a gift as a "give me." They do not receive a "gift" as much as they acquire a "thing." What I mean is that when a person expects a gift and it's not quite what they thought it should be, their mind wanders to the idea that, "I can go exchange it and get something I really wanted. I know that I have been guilty of this in the past. We don't see the gift as a symbol of the love of the person behind it. It ceases to be a gift and becomes a requirement.

Just as bad is the thought by the giver that I will just get "anything" and if they don't like it, they can take it back. This usually happens when we don't know a person well or it seems they have everything.We feel pressure to buy something - anything. However, a gift is special because it is unwarranted and not required. It is presented to a person not for anything they have done but simply because the giver wanted to give. There is a joy in taking someone by surprise and giving knowing that nothing was done to deserve it.

So, I think you know where I am going with this.  In this Christmas season, there are many gifts given but the 1st Christmas there was only 1. God himself showed up and gifted us with his presence. He surprised us with unmerited favor. We did nothing to deserve it and he certainly didn't make this effort lightly thinking if we didn't want it, we could exchange it.  Friends, there is only 1 way. There is only 1 gift good enough. We might reject it but the gift is still given.

 What is your response?  Have you joyfully received it?  Have you opened it to know the wonderful love of the Father?  If not, why? It was sent just for you.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

I love the end of the year and the opportunity it gives us to look back and see all that God has done in our lives and through our lives. When we began Be The One two years ago, we were following the desire of God’s heart. The bible says, “I will not leave you as orphans…”  We believe that God is moving to bring children into families and thereby into a relationship with His son Jesus. It is a privilege to partner with God on this mission and I am so thankful when people respond to his prompting and give to Be The One.

Why do we work to bring children into forever families? Why do we tell our stories of adoption? Why do we give out grants to families on the journey to their child? It is only because of the One. 

The 1 who gives us life,

The 1 who sets us free,

The 1 who sacrificed everything,

The 1 who forgives us our sins,

The 1 who lavishes us with love and grace…… Jesus.

 When you know the mercy you have been shown, I mean really know it, then you will eagerly embrace the mission of helping others find that same grace and mercy. We would welcome any end of the year donation you feel called to give. All the money will be used to help bring another child home.

The Board of Be The One wishes you a Merry Christmas and a Joyous New year!

Mary Beth              Janice             Carol

            Sara                    Mary

                           

     

                                 NATIONAL ADOPTION DAY  NOV. 22, 2014


Why do we need an "Adoption Day?"  

1. To celebrate families who have grown their families through the adoption of a child.
2. To remind people of the millions of children still waiting in foster care and institutions worldwide.

Why celebrate?

1. Those who were without families now have families to call their own.
2. Families are given the privilege of sharing God's heart for the  orphan.

How do we celebrate?

1. We share our stories: the good and the bad.
2. We encourage those on the journey of adoption.

In the New Testament Jesus is often heard to say truly, truly... or verily, verily... He does this to emphasize that something he is saying is very important. He is telling us to pay attention and listen up.
When I talk to individuals about adoption, I want to say these same words.

       Truly, truly.... there are millions of children in need of families
     
       Truly, truly.... they don't care how old you are, what color your skin is, how much you make     or what kind of home you live in.
      
       Truly, truly..... families just like you: those with fears and doubts, trust God and begin the journey not knowing how the end will turn out.
         
        Truly, truly... God cares for the orphan and is using Christians everywhere to bring his children HOME!

Pay attention.......      Listen up........     Open your eyes......    And your hearts.....

                                 BE THE ONE

We All Have Scars

 I finally had the chance to see the movie "Raggamuffin" which tells the story of Rich Mullins, a phenomenal Christian song writer who struggled with himself and his past. At one point he was talking about not being afraid to have scars and it got me thinking. Most of us have scars both physical and emotional. We have tried things and failed, or we are struggling with our past, or we have a thought pattern that we can't shake. We know we can't be perfect and that everyone struggles; yet, we hide our scars, (our shortcomings) and pretend that things are good, or that we have gotten past something, or that we may be in a difficult situation now but we will get through it soon.

As I was thinking of this God reminded me that Jesus didn't hide his scars, in fact he showed them as proof that he was Jesus and that he had struggled. In two of the gospels he shows his scars. Now, why would he do this when I'm sure his words could have sufficed? I think one reason his scars were resurrected with him is because "by his wounds we are healed" (emphasis mine). He is identifying with our humanity   Because of His obedience to God which resulted in the scars he wore, we were given a new life. The scars are the testament that He overcame.

Our own scars can have the same testimony if we let them. Yes, we struggled. Yes, we fell. Yes, something didn't turn out the way it was supposed to, BUT, through the help of what Jesus did for us and the work of the Holy Spirit, we overcame. Jesus said, "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

So, don't hide your scars, show them to others who are struggling. Let them know that Christians have problems too. The bible tells us to confess our faults to one another. This is not so we won't feel guilty anymore. It is to help those who still struggle. Who can understand the temptation of alcohol but an alcoholic? Who can know the pain of having a wayward child but another parent whose child has turned their back on them? I can't count the number of times that friends have encouraged me by sharing their own personal struggles. Showing our scars helps others to realize that they too can overcome whatever trial they are now facing.

When we show our scars, we help others heal. Ironically awesome isn't it?

Daddy Love

A dad is many things to his family: a financial provider, a fan, a hero, and in our home, the one who provides the fun. I appreciate all the roles my husband plays in our lives and have enjoyed many moments watching him with our children; yet, if I had to pick some of my husband's greatest moments, they would include watching him "fall in love" with each of his children.

The first two children who came along were born in a hospital. With these, both boys, the "falling" happened in a hospital room when a nurse brought the baby in from somwhere they had taken him. There was a slow realization of what the bundle held and then his face would go soft and his eyes would glow. He was hooked.

The next two children were born in a birthing center. There our daughters were immediately given to me and my husband was allowed to help clean, weigh and wrap them. Then came the "look" of being handed a precious gift. It was as if there were only the two of them in the room and he had only the little face to adore.

The last two children came to us through adoption and I wondered if I'd see the "look." The first little boy came to us at the age of three. He was with another set of foster parents and we had gone to meet him (an intro. before he was placed with us). As we walked beside him letting him pedal his tricycle, stopping every few feet to point out a truck, I again saw the look of love come over my husband's face. A love mixed with wonder (How do you fall in love with a child you have just met?) The last time we added to our family, we were in another country half way around the world. We were in a conference room with five strangers plus our guide. I didn't see my husband's initial reaction because I was rivited on the young 7yr old standing in the doorway. It wasn't until I stepped aside (the boy wasn't particularly interested in me) and said, "this is your daddy," that I turned my attention to my spouse. As quick as lightening, our newst son had raced toward daddy and flung his arms around his neck. There it was again: the "look" as strong as ever.

So what makes a man a father? He should provide, protect and lead his family, but most important is his willingness to fall in love.

Are We Twisted?

I know this is a weird title but my other one (are you a pervert?) was worse. Before you  hit the x, let me explain my choice of verbiage.  I was reading Matthew 17:17 and read this, "Jesus replied, O unbelieving and perverse generation!"  God had wonderful things planned for his chosen people. He had even equipped his disciples to go out proclaim the good news and heal. And when they are unable to perform a miracle, he calls the generation "unbelieving" and "perverse." Hmmm....

Perversion is taking something and using it for something not intended - twisting it into something that isn't beneficial. i.e. perverting justice by twisting a law to fit your need. We might expect Jesus to call the pharisees perverse, or maybe the tax collectors after all they used religion or the government to take care of themselves at the expense of others. Jesus, however, was talking to a crowd of people one of whom was a father who had taken his son to the disciples to be healed. He takes unbelief and links the word perverse with it. Was he telling us that unbelief is something twisted? 

If God has called us to do something or has allowed us to see a plan for our life and we don't move forward are we acting in unbelief? If we know the bible says he will heal, or he will provide and we become discouraged because it's not evident yet, are we unbelieving? And if we choose to believe that maybe God really doesn't want us to be healed or that we can't do something he's called us to do, are we perverting something? Are we twisting something God has promised us simply because we can't yet see it with our eyes.

There are many believers today who are walking around with a twisted faith. They believe that Jesus died, rose from the dead and imparted his Spirit, yet they won't believe the good plans he has for them or that he is willing to provide for their every need: physical, emotional and spiritual. Friends, God has great things for us to do and yet we may never do them unless we unbend and believe.

Any Run is a Good Run

   
 I've run 3x this week, all very different runs, yet each one was a Good run. The first run was difficult and I felt like I was just plodding along; going through the motions but not getting anywhere fast. The second was a race where I pushed myself to get to a goal in which I felt victorious. The third was an enjoyable run where I didn't feel the need to do anything but enjoy being outside. My legs felt strong and I was running without thinking about running.
     Life is a lot like these runs (yes, I compare most things in life with running because it's such a good analogy). Sometimes we feel like we are just plodding along. We don't feel like we are accomplishing anything and maybe like we should just stop and go back home; maybe leave the running to those who look good in bright colors. Other days we feel as if we were in a race (maybe a battle?). We have to push ourselves hard to get to the finish. We play a recording in our heads of "I think I can, I think I can," or maybe as I do, we just count our steps 1,2,3,4,5.... until the end is in sight. Then there are those days when life seems easy and we feel as if we know what we are doing. We are on auto-pilot enjoying the scenery. There are no bumps in the road and we make it to the end feeling accomplished.
     So, how can all these runs be Good runs?  The answer is simple: I was going forward - I didn't stop even though I felt like it and I didn't turn around and go home. You see I've convinced myself that it doesn't matter how I feel, what counts is that I am taking the next step. Some steps are easy, some are not, but every step gets me closer to where I'm going. In life, we are all going to have great days where it's easy to move and we relish the tasks in front of us, but we shouldn't be surprised when these days are followed by the mundane or often by those times when we feel we are running for our lives. Breathe in - breathe out. Right leg - left leg. Chin up - look where you are going. And remember, others are watching you and following.

Heb. 12:12-13 "Strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. Make level paths for your feet, so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed."

Foolishness or Hope?

 

   I've been reading a book, an expose, which I didn't really want to read because I knew it would make me mad. I read it because I felt I needed to know what those on the "other side" of the adoption debate thought about the kids and the process and the remedy. As I read, I kept looking for what the author's view point was and where she was coming from and then I spotted it. In the third chapter a sentence which I feel summed up why "orphan ministry" may be hard for some to put their arms around. The author states that she could never accept a theology where one person has to suffer for the happiness of another. She, of course, was talking about a birth mother suffering to bring happiness to the adoptive family. As I read this I couldn't help thinking that the theology she can't accept is someone being forced to suffer, yet I do not believe that most adoptions result from a force of one person's will on another but a set of circumstances which lead to a decision. It is the decision which brings both grief and joy.
    
    The circumstances for adoption are varied and cover the whole spectrum of life from a frightened pregnant teen-ager, to a poverty stricken woman; from an addicted parent, to a governmental family planning policy. And while we would like to right all of these wrongs, it is not possible.  Sometimes the decision to place a child for adoption is solely a personal one; however sometimes the decision is made not by the individual but by the government or social services. There is also the instances where parents in other cultures have unknowingly severed their parental rights or have had their children stolen from them. While we don't want to advocate a solution in which parents feel pressured into adoption, we also don't want children who have no guardian to be ignored.  It is a sad fact that most of the world's orphans will never have the chance to be a part of a family; yet if we throw up our hands we are ignoring those who can be adopted.
 
    I think what really bothered me about this expose was that it highlighted all the problems of adoption but offered no solutions. It advocated keeping children in their own country and letting agencies minister to the families. This is understandable; however according to her own research, this seems to be how most adoption programs have started: a church reaches out to the community and provides help for children who are without help, these children then need to find a home, the church uses whatever contacts it has to try and find a home which sometimes results in the child being adopted out of country. This process escalates as more parents see the ministry as a way out of poverty for their children and more adoption agencies become involved. Is there a way to break this cycle? What about when disaster strikes a destitute country such as Haiti or Sudan? Adoption is not the only answer, but it is part of the answer.

   The Christian faith is built upon the One who suffered the cross so that all might have a new beginning: a new life in him. It was not a forced decision but a loving decision based upon our need for a relationship with our heavenly Father. This message is foolishness to those who are perishing. In the same way, adoption of a child from the other side of the world also appears foolish and to some criminal.  Any time we step forward and begin to walk down an unknown path we will face disapproval. As Nehemiah found out, if someone doesn't like what you are doing, they will ridicule you, slander you, fight you and make you think they have the same goal as you, but in the end it is the one whose cause is just that will prevail. 

                  Be The One

The Fight Over Adoption

 

    Did you know there was a fight? If you are in the adoption community, you are probably aware that lately there have been numerous articles, documentaries and commentaries dealing with abuses in adoption. It seems as if the whole idea of adoption is under fire. In just a few decades adoption has gone from being a way for childless couples to have children to helping children who are stuck in foster care or institutions, and for some reason, this second ideology is unacceptable to many.

     While no one can dismiss that there are abuses in adoption as with any social undertaking (welfare, long-term care, prisons), the idea that more than 13,000,000 children living in institutions could be better served through giving money to provide the country with a type of welfare is absurd. Children are orphaned for many reasons and therefore the solution to the astronomical number of orphans needs to include numerous options including adoption.

     An an advocate for adoption, I don't believe that adoption is the answer for all situations, nor would I urge all couples to adopt. I support programs that provide relief for those in poverty. I also support programs which go into orphanages and provide for those who will never be adopted. I don't pretend to know what is best for all children considered orphaned; however, I do know that every child deserves the chance to know the love of a family. Every child deserves the chance to be held, sung to, told that they are "loved  to the moon," and given the chance to dream.

     So, how should we answer those who are now casting adoption as an evil at worst and a misguided sense of charity at best?  We share our story. We tell them of the son who said  "thank you momma" every night because he was taken outside to see the stars. We tell them of the smile we got when our child had the strength to pedal a bike by himself. We tell them of the note written at thanksgiving which simply stated, "thank you for saving me." And at the end of the day, we don't really need to give an answer to anyone besides the one who made us.

                                  Be The One