always hopes, always perseveres

     What does it take to persevere when day after day things don't get better? What about when instead of getting better they get tougher? There is only one thing that will help you through times like this and that is hope. If faith is the ability to see what others can't, than hope is the ability to see the future that others won't. Many can look at a child in need and feel empathy, some will give money, some will pray, but who will look forward to what plans God has for this child and act according to what they see in the future?
     I often wonder why God wants to use me when I mess up so often. Of course it has nothing to do with me. God uses the weak so that his power and grace shine. I see now that within my hard days, there is a greater purpose. I tell my kids that if something is worth having, it is worth working for. Likewise if something is worth hoping for, it is worth persevering for. Love Never Fails.

             Be The One

..... always trusts

     Trust is the ability to believe that what someone says will happen, will, or what someone tells you is true, is. When a child trusts their parents, they will do things that don't make sense to them simply because someone they love told them to. Have you ever seen a parent at the bottom of a slide coaxing their child, "come on, you won't fall?" It is the same with us and God. If we trust God, we believe that he loves us and will only do what is best for us. This allows us to go ahead and do things that don't seem safe to us.
     When God showed us our 6th child, he was living in China: a six year old boy labeled with epilepsy. I knew immediately that this was the child God meant for our son. I also knew that as soon as we said yes all the questions would start: people wondering whether it was smart adopting a boy that old, with a diagnosis we had never experienced. We were cautioned to thoroughly look into the agency and many shared the horror stories they knew of others who had tried to adopt an older child and failed. Yet, it didn't matter what I thought might happen, I had to trust that God knew what would happen. It also was irrelevant that this child was half way around the world. I knew that God loved us and this boy and I could trust Him to bring it to completion. It didn't have to be a good idea, it was a God idea.

                                     Be The One

It always protects

  
 In what way can love protect us or those we love?  The 42nd chapter of Isaiah gives us a clue. He says that "A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out." Do we know people we would classify as bruised; people who have been injured by the world and are struggling in their life.  These are the ones love needs to protect. We shouldn't be the type of person who echos the world saying "your not good enough," or "you don't know anything." Instead, we need to be encouragers. We refuse to break the reed or snuff out the wick when we stand beside the one who is torn and let them know that God has great plans for them.
     This is especially true when it comes to children who are the "least of these" and our most precious possessions. God has given us these young plants to nurture. We need to protect them from the lies of this world and the counterfeit. Whether a child is our own or an orphan in another country, they need the love of a caring adult who is willing to see the potential God put inside of them and advocate for them. Love always protects even if it is hard.

                                   Be The One

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

 
  Do you notice how evil and truth are shown as opposites here? Why is it our society has such an addiction to evil and such a horror of the truth? Don't believe this is true? Just look at any popular t.v. show and what is seen as funny. It usually entails someone being embarrased, humiliated, put down or "getting what they deserve." We know these things aren't right;however, it is so prevalent in our culture we have a hard time not delighting in it. We tease those we love about their faults making it harder for them to see themselves in a positive way.
     Truth, on the other hand, is shown as something worth rejoicing over. When I hear this I can't help but think of one of my children who has a difficult time with gettting things right. I'm always hoping he or she makes the right decision in a situation; and when they do, I feel like jumping up and down. I get excited because they have chosen truth and are living the way God meant them to. We need to see the true character in our children and share it with them. Instead of saying, "stop acting like a clown," we can say, "please act like the young man God made you to be." When we do this, we help them understand who they were made to be so that they can live out that truth. 

                              Be The One 

...it keeps no record of wrongs

     For those of us who know the good news of Christianity, we understand that our joy does not come soley from the death of Christ or the resurrection story, it comes from both because through both we have both forgiveness and new life. The good news is that because of those, our sins are not only forgiven, but completely forgotten. The bible says "as far as the east is from the west," which means no way, ever will we see them again. It is amazing that God chooses to forget. Now, God knows all things, so how can he not remember? Its not that he can't, but that he won't. He does this because he wants to have a relationship with us.
      We also have this same ability (choice) to forget things that have hurt us. If we want to stay in relationship with someone, we must forget. How do we do this? Just like patience we must practice pushing the nagging thoughts and hurt to the side, or better yet throw them away. When we find our thoughts wandering into dangerous teritory, we must turn them to something else. It takes effort but is well worth it. Sing a song, recite a bible verse, or think of something pleasant that you can thank God for. We must do this for as we do to others, so shall it be done to us.

                              Be The One

it is not easily angered

  
  Love and anger seem to be polar opposites, so how is it that we get so angry with those we love?  Could it be that we have the wrong definition of love? It is said that love is a decision and not an emotion. This is so true when it comes to adoption. There is no nine months of being the protective covering and no birth; instead there is the decision to take a child totally outside of yourself and give them that covering. When we are in a situation that angers us, we need to realize that we do have a choice to be angry or not. If we let ourselves get angry, we are saying that I am inconvenienced, disappointed, embarrassed or hurt. We are focusing on us not the other person.
      I have an angry child and I have learned alot about what triggers anger. It is often for self-preservation or perceived self-preservation. But, if we are not self-seeking any longer than anger can take a back seat to LOVE. We can look those situations in the face and say "I'm not more important than this person and my needs are not more valid." We decide to Love no matter what it costs us. That's what Jesus did for us and what he expects us to do for others.

                              Be The One

It is not self-seeking ...

  
  I've never thought of myself as a selfish person, but I am. We all are as evidenced by the fact that we'd rather sneak chocolate than share with our kids, we get mad when things don't go according to OUR plans and if someone is doing something fun, they should have asked us.
      Lately, I've noticed myself grumbling a bit more than normal. I ask God to give me joy but then get annoyed at how my day is progressing. I lament that I've spent so much time on the kids that I haven't got to do my stuff. Attention! God does not give joy when we are looking out for ourselves. Joy is a fruit of a spirit devoted to him and that means serving Jesus in any way he asks.
      We have to go back to where our focus is. If it is on ourself, we will be self-seeking. If we want to be love to those around us, we must start looking at God.

                            Be The One
     

It is not rude

    What is being rude? Is it calling names, rushing in front of someone at the store or taking the good parking spot? Is it gossiping about someone in church, is it hanging up on a customer service person, or is it giving our spouse a dirty look when they turn around?
      I try really hard to be nice to everyone but as I was reading the verse I couldn't help but think of sarcasm. The word literally means to tear the flesh. Unfortunately, sarcasm is so prevalent in not only our world but our families. We should be loving our families above all, yet we find ourselves tearing them down with small digs.  I think the reason is not that we want to do harm but rather we want to be funny.
      I pray that God will stop me before I say anything flippant that will tear into the fabric I work so hard to knit.  It doesn't matter if our kids are 8 or 18, it still matters that they know they are valued beyond everything else.

                                 Be The One 

It is not proud

      "I can do all things THROUGH HIM that strengthens me,"or conversely, I can do nothing without the Holy Spirit. Yes, I can function, do my job and sometimes even do it well, but I can not do the tasks God has given me to do on my own.  I would (and have) make a giant mess of anything I tried to do through my own strength because I don't know the big picture. Luckily God does and he says that he will equip us with all that we need. I can not be proud of my accomplishments because they really are not mine; they are God's. There are those who tell me my family is wonderful because we adopted. While, I thank them, I try to give all the credit to God. If it wasn't for him, we never would have been able to adopt.  We would have rushed in foolishly instead of waiting on him. We would never have had the courage or the finances to travel to the other side of the world unless he provided it. And... quite frankly, I would be bald with pulling my hair out on some days if it wasn't for his provision of the people around me. Love can not be proud; it is too busy focusing on others.

                                               Be The One

It does not boast

    
Love does not boast.  Paul tells us that if we boast, we should boast in Jesus.  We can do nothing of ourselves so it profits no one to have them watch us. Instead, we need to point them to Jesus and boast of all the great things he has done for us. Again, it goes back to being thankful. So here is a partial list of the things Jesus has done for me.

• saved me from my sins
• gave me a Christian husband
• blessed me with 6 children
• provided a home, friends and family
• provided Dan with a job when he lost his.
• has healed me physically
• has healed Avery
• took us to China and back safely giving us a son who immediately bonded with us
• showed us his heart for adoption and walked with us every step
• provided in advance all that we need for the work he's called us to

                                             Be The One

It does not envy

Envy.... it is so easy to recognize in others, so ugly in ourselves. Envy is worse than wanting what others have, it is not being thankful for what God has given us. Have you ever had a child who turned away from a gift you thought he'd love and looked at someone else's with longing, or who has outright told you, "mom, I really wanted the other kind?" You realize it wasn't that he didn't receive a wonderful gift, it was that he was looking at the wrong thing. We do the same. When we feel that desire for something we don't have, we are focusing on the wrong thing. Love looks at what it has and the God who has provided it. Love realizes that God knows what we need and when we need it because he is our loving father.

                                                 BE THE ONE

...And Kind

     1st Corinthians states that love is not only patient, but also kind. Interestingly these two words are linked together. We are not to be patient at some times and kind at others, we are to be kind while we are being patient. This is not easy.  Not only do I have to wait (nicely) in line but I have to be kind at the same time. This does not mean giving the person behind me "the Look" saying "can you believe this lady?" It's smiling at the one causing me annoyance and telling her "it's fine, we've all had problems with getting the wrong kind of toilet paper, or no price on the one thing you really need."

     The lack of patience we have is usually due to us not wanting to be bothered with something or someone. We feel that we are more important then they are. Thank goodness that Jesus did not have this attitude.  He made time for the lepers, the cripples and the children; seeing them as more valuable then gold. He looked at those in front of him and saw them as if they were the only 1s around; the most priceless treasure in the world. Now, that is Love!

                                                            Be The One

Love is Patient

     Since I like to think of February as the month of love, I'm going back to 1Corinthians 13 for 14 days to see what love is.  Love is first of all patient. If God is love and we have God in us, then we should Be patient. We should be patient with our children when they aren't going as fast as we'd like, we should be patient with our spouses when they don't act the way we think they should (we do the same things), we should be patient with a world that is broken.
     Everyone has patience, especially those who belong to Jesus; however only some choose to practice patience. It's like running. If I want to be a better runner, I have to make myself run. I'd never enter a race unless I had trained for it. If I want to be more patient, I have to practice patience everyday. This is easiest if I am anticipating those things that cause me to become impatient. So, I plan on my kids spilling their juice and I plan on a slow driver and I plan on waiting at the grocery store and when I have difficulty, I remember how patient God is with me when I mess up, am slow to understand and when he is waiting for me to move ahead.

                                                         BE THE ONE