Over the last couple weeks one of our children fell into a sinful act on 2 occasions. I say fell because as far as I know it wasn't something that he was prone to or had been struggling with. I won't elaborate on the what but I will say it took my husband and I by surprise. It felt like we had been sucker punched and we were left speechless because it wasn't on our radar. So what were we to do; our normally compliant child had crossed over a few lines and their response to our "why?" was a typical, "I don't know."
So.... We aren't perfect parents raising perfect kids. Duh, we knew this but usually we feel we have a pretty good handle on things and it will all turn out o.k. in the end. But, what if our parenting results in kids who keep failing at what we are trying to teach them? What if we wake up every morning from now to retirement saying, "Maybe this will be the day it will be better?"
Searching for the answer I had to go back to what I know is true because the devil was trying so hard to tell me that this "adoption experiment" was failing. He was telling me that my husband and I, with our love, encouragement and discipline, had kids that fell. Luckily the bible is clear on a few things.
1. We all have fallen short of the glory of God. (Rom. 3:23)
Jesus said that anyone who breaks one of the laws is the same as if he broke the whole law. The kind of sin is not as important as what we do next. As parents who have fallen multiple times ourselves, we must let the child know that their actions are the result of a "sin" problem not the result of them being bad. They need to realize that this "sin" problem is why Jesus came into the world and died. They need to understand that Jesus is the answer to whatever "sin" problem they have.
2. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from All unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)
We, as parents, need to make sure our kids understand that God has a plan for them and when they fall, they only need to repent in order to know forgiveness. They don't need to carry around the shame of their sin for the next 10 years. We parents need to remember that if God has forgiven and forgotten All of their acts, we must do no less. We have to move on; not being naive, but not dredging up a past event.
3. Work out your salvation with fear and trembling. (Phil. 2:12)
All of us struggle with certain sin areas in our life. We may struggle with anger, pride, vanity, lying etc. The struggle is not the sin. We have a savior who is with us and who has overcome sin. Knowing your weakness is half the battle; the other half is the "working it out." I tell my children where they have strength and where they have weakness so they can prepare themselves for the next temptation that comes their way. Talk to your children when they are not in a time of struggle and let them know again that they are loved and you are praying for them, but it is up to them to work on these areas.
I have learned much recently about God. I knew that he was a Good Father and that his love has been rejected many times by those he loves, but I had forgotten that All of his chosen children, those of us who call ourselves "Christians" still Fall everyday. The good news is that we, like our children, will wake up one day and find that the struggle is over and that we are with Christ.
Be The One
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