Daddy Love

A dad is many things to his family: a financial provider, a fan, a hero, and in our home, the one who provides the fun. I appreciate all the roles my husband plays in our lives and have enjoyed many moments watching him with our children; yet, if I had to pick some of my husband's greatest moments, they would include watching him "fall in love" with each of his children.

The first two children who came along were born in a hospital. With these, both boys, the "falling" happened in a hospital room when a nurse brought the baby in from somwhere they had taken him. There was a slow realization of what the bundle held and then his face would go soft and his eyes would glow. He was hooked.

The next two children were born in a birthing center. There our daughters were immediately given to me and my husband was allowed to help clean, weigh and wrap them. Then came the "look" of being handed a precious gift. It was as if there were only the two of them in the room and he had only the little face to adore.

The last two children came to us through adoption and I wondered if I'd see the "look." The first little boy came to us at the age of three. He was with another set of foster parents and we had gone to meet him (an intro. before he was placed with us). As we walked beside him letting him pedal his tricycle, stopping every few feet to point out a truck, I again saw the look of love come over my husband's face. A love mixed with wonder (How do you fall in love with a child you have just met?) The last time we added to our family, we were in another country half way around the world. We were in a conference room with five strangers plus our guide. I didn't see my husband's initial reaction because I was rivited on the young 7yr old standing in the doorway. It wasn't until I stepped aside (the boy wasn't particularly interested in me) and said, "this is your daddy," that I turned my attention to my spouse. As quick as lightening, our newst son had raced toward daddy and flung his arms around his neck. There it was again: the "look" as strong as ever.

So what makes a man a father? He should provide, protect and lead his family, but most important is his willingness to fall in love.

Are We Twisted?

I know this is a weird title but my other one (are you a pervert?) was worse. Before you  hit the x, let me explain my choice of verbiage.  I was reading Matthew 17:17 and read this, "Jesus replied, O unbelieving and perverse generation!"  God had wonderful things planned for his chosen people. He had even equipped his disciples to go out proclaim the good news and heal. And when they are unable to perform a miracle, he calls the generation "unbelieving" and "perverse." Hmmm....

Perversion is taking something and using it for something not intended - twisting it into something that isn't beneficial. i.e. perverting justice by twisting a law to fit your need. We might expect Jesus to call the pharisees perverse, or maybe the tax collectors after all they used religion or the government to take care of themselves at the expense of others. Jesus, however, was talking to a crowd of people one of whom was a father who had taken his son to the disciples to be healed. He takes unbelief and links the word perverse with it. Was he telling us that unbelief is something twisted? 

If God has called us to do something or has allowed us to see a plan for our life and we don't move forward are we acting in unbelief? If we know the bible says he will heal, or he will provide and we become discouraged because it's not evident yet, are we unbelieving? And if we choose to believe that maybe God really doesn't want us to be healed or that we can't do something he's called us to do, are we perverting something? Are we twisting something God has promised us simply because we can't yet see it with our eyes.

There are many believers today who are walking around with a twisted faith. They believe that Jesus died, rose from the dead and imparted his Spirit, yet they won't believe the good plans he has for them or that he is willing to provide for their every need: physical, emotional and spiritual. Friends, God has great things for us to do and yet we may never do them unless we unbend and believe.

Any Run is a Good Run

   
 I've run 3x this week, all very different runs, yet each one was a Good run. The first run was difficult and I felt like I was just plodding along; going through the motions but not getting anywhere fast. The second was a race where I pushed myself to get to a goal in which I felt victorious. The third was an enjoyable run where I didn't feel the need to do anything but enjoy being outside. My legs felt strong and I was running without thinking about running.
     Life is a lot like these runs (yes, I compare most things in life with running because it's such a good analogy). Sometimes we feel like we are just plodding along. We don't feel like we are accomplishing anything and maybe like we should just stop and go back home; maybe leave the running to those who look good in bright colors. Other days we feel as if we were in a race (maybe a battle?). We have to push ourselves hard to get to the finish. We play a recording in our heads of "I think I can, I think I can," or maybe as I do, we just count our steps 1,2,3,4,5.... until the end is in sight. Then there are those days when life seems easy and we feel as if we know what we are doing. We are on auto-pilot enjoying the scenery. There are no bumps in the road and we make it to the end feeling accomplished.
     So, how can all these runs be Good runs?  The answer is simple: I was going forward - I didn't stop even though I felt like it and I didn't turn around and go home. You see I've convinced myself that it doesn't matter how I feel, what counts is that I am taking the next step. Some steps are easy, some are not, but every step gets me closer to where I'm going. In life, we are all going to have great days where it's easy to move and we relish the tasks in front of us, but we shouldn't be surprised when these days are followed by the mundane or often by those times when we feel we are running for our lives. Breathe in - breathe out. Right leg - left leg. Chin up - look where you are going. And remember, others are watching you and following.

Heb. 12:12-13 "Strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. Make level paths for your feet, so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed."

Foolishness or Hope?

 

   I've been reading a book, an expose, which I didn't really want to read because I knew it would make me mad. I read it because I felt I needed to know what those on the "other side" of the adoption debate thought about the kids and the process and the remedy. As I read, I kept looking for what the author's view point was and where she was coming from and then I spotted it. In the third chapter a sentence which I feel summed up why "orphan ministry" may be hard for some to put their arms around. The author states that she could never accept a theology where one person has to suffer for the happiness of another. She, of course, was talking about a birth mother suffering to bring happiness to the adoptive family. As I read this I couldn't help thinking that the theology she can't accept is someone being forced to suffer, yet I do not believe that most adoptions result from a force of one person's will on another but a set of circumstances which lead to a decision. It is the decision which brings both grief and joy.
    
    The circumstances for adoption are varied and cover the whole spectrum of life from a frightened pregnant teen-ager, to a poverty stricken woman; from an addicted parent, to a governmental family planning policy. And while we would like to right all of these wrongs, it is not possible.  Sometimes the decision to place a child for adoption is solely a personal one; however sometimes the decision is made not by the individual but by the government or social services. There is also the instances where parents in other cultures have unknowingly severed their parental rights or have had their children stolen from them. While we don't want to advocate a solution in which parents feel pressured into adoption, we also don't want children who have no guardian to be ignored.  It is a sad fact that most of the world's orphans will never have the chance to be a part of a family; yet if we throw up our hands we are ignoring those who can be adopted.
 
    I think what really bothered me about this expose was that it highlighted all the problems of adoption but offered no solutions. It advocated keeping children in their own country and letting agencies minister to the families. This is understandable; however according to her own research, this seems to be how most adoption programs have started: a church reaches out to the community and provides help for children who are without help, these children then need to find a home, the church uses whatever contacts it has to try and find a home which sometimes results in the child being adopted out of country. This process escalates as more parents see the ministry as a way out of poverty for their children and more adoption agencies become involved. Is there a way to break this cycle? What about when disaster strikes a destitute country such as Haiti or Sudan? Adoption is not the only answer, but it is part of the answer.

   The Christian faith is built upon the One who suffered the cross so that all might have a new beginning: a new life in him. It was not a forced decision but a loving decision based upon our need for a relationship with our heavenly Father. This message is foolishness to those who are perishing. In the same way, adoption of a child from the other side of the world also appears foolish and to some criminal.  Any time we step forward and begin to walk down an unknown path we will face disapproval. As Nehemiah found out, if someone doesn't like what you are doing, they will ridicule you, slander you, fight you and make you think they have the same goal as you, but in the end it is the one whose cause is just that will prevail. 

                  Be The One

The Fight Over Adoption

 

    Did you know there was a fight? If you are in the adoption community, you are probably aware that lately there have been numerous articles, documentaries and commentaries dealing with abuses in adoption. It seems as if the whole idea of adoption is under fire. In just a few decades adoption has gone from being a way for childless couples to have children to helping children who are stuck in foster care or institutions, and for some reason, this second ideology is unacceptable to many.

     While no one can dismiss that there are abuses in adoption as with any social undertaking (welfare, long-term care, prisons), the idea that more than 13,000,000 children living in institutions could be better served through giving money to provide the country with a type of welfare is absurd. Children are orphaned for many reasons and therefore the solution to the astronomical number of orphans needs to include numerous options including adoption.

     An an advocate for adoption, I don't believe that adoption is the answer for all situations, nor would I urge all couples to adopt. I support programs that provide relief for those in poverty. I also support programs which go into orphanages and provide for those who will never be adopted. I don't pretend to know what is best for all children considered orphaned; however, I do know that every child deserves the chance to know the love of a family. Every child deserves the chance to be held, sung to, told that they are "loved  to the moon," and given the chance to dream.

     So, how should we answer those who are now casting adoption as an evil at worst and a misguided sense of charity at best?  We share our story. We tell them of the son who said  "thank you momma" every night because he was taken outside to see the stars. We tell them of the smile we got when our child had the strength to pedal a bike by himself. We tell them of the note written at thanksgiving which simply stated, "thank you for saving me." And at the end of the day, we don't really need to give an answer to anyone besides the one who made us.

                                  Be The One

Living Intentionally

I Love New Years! There is something very inspiring about getting to start over with all sorts of new possibilities. I look back at past years and think, "I had no idea on January 1st that we would be foster parents, or that we would be waiting to go to China or that I would run 13.1 miles." So on this January 1st, I get to imagine what God might do through me in the next 12 months and get excited.

That being said, I know that most things don't just happen without some intentional living. None of the above would have happened if I hadn't been looking for what God was prompting me to do. If we want to get healthier, raise children who love Jesus, or see more children adopted, then we have to plan for it. Intentional living means knowing what you want the end to look like and beginning the process by taking the steps needed to get there.

Have you ever felt the Lord directing you towards adoption? January is a great month to begin looking for adoption seminars. Find an adoption agency in your area and make a call. Check out a book from the library on the subject. It doesn't matter so much what you do, just do something. "A man plans his ways, but the Lord directs his footsteps."  This is a bible verse I learned many years ago and always serves to remind me that if I am living for God, he will direct me in the way I need to go. The only way I can mess up is not to go anywhere.

Jesus told a parable about a master who went on a trip and gave talents to his three servants. When the master returned, he commended the two who had done something with their talents, but the one who had hid his gift was declared "wicked and lazy." You see, God expects us to do something with what he gives us. Not using our gifts is equated to burying it. Basically, if you are not living the life God has for you, you are dead. You might as well be buried with your good intentions.

Right now, think of what God has laid on your heart and take a step in that direction.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

How was your holiday? Were you slightly disappointed because you didn't get something? Did you feel a bit ignored by someone or were annoyed by someone in your family or something that didn't turn out quite right i.e. Christmas dinner? Now that the big day is behind us, let's look at it with a little more perspective.
          Were you fed a good meal?      Were you warm?  
             Did you have someone give you a hug and tell you they loved you? 
Well then, you had a great day. So many children don't have these luxuries, yes I will call them that because feeling full, warm and loved is not basic in an orphanage.

Many of these children wait not because they have severe physical or emotional needs but because they are unseen. It is not easy to look at them and think about them; it is much easier to turn away. Maybe you aren't in a situation where you can adopt or maybe you have a different cause that you support so you skim over the topic and hope someone else will do something. Let me encourage you that you can do something. Please consider doing one of the following 4.

You can pray for these children that they will find their families.
You can talk about these children and share their pictures enabling them to be seen by others.
You can give money so that a family can adopt.
You can take that first step on the journey and walk into adoption. God will show you the next step and the one after that.

I feel blessed in this season because I have family, but mostly because I have a God who cared enough to send me a savior and adopt me into His family. Wishing that you may know the love of the Father this beautiful time of year.