When Our Kids Mess Up

Over the last couple weeks one of our children fell into a sinful act on 2 occasions. I say fell because as far as I know it wasn't something that he was prone to or had been struggling with. I won't elaborate on the what but I will say it took my husband and I by surprise. It felt like we had been sucker punched and we were left speechless because it wasn't on our radar. So what were we to do; our normally compliant child had crossed over a few lines and their response to our "why?" was a typical, "I don't know."

So.... We aren't perfect parents raising perfect kids. Duh, we knew this but usually we feel we have a pretty good handle on things and it will all turn out o.k. in the end. But, what if our parenting results in kids who keep failing at what we are trying to teach them? What if we wake up every morning from now to retirement saying, "Maybe this will be the day it will be better?"

Searching for the answer I had to go back to what I know is true because the devil was trying so hard to tell me that this "adoption experiment" was failing. He was telling me that my husband and I, with our love, encouragement and discipline, had kids that fell. Luckily the bible is clear on a few things.

1. We all have fallen short of the glory of God. (Rom. 3:23)
Jesus said that anyone who breaks one of the laws is the same as if he broke the whole law. The kind of sin is not as important as what we do next. As parents who have fallen multiple times ourselves, we must let the child know that their actions are the result of a "sin" problem not the result of them being bad. They need to realize that this "sin" problem is why Jesus came into the world and died. They need to understand that Jesus is the answer to whatever "sin" problem they have.

2. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from All unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)
We, as parents, need to make sure our kids understand that God has a plan for them and when they fall, they only need to repent in order to know forgiveness. They don't need to carry around the shame of their sin for the next 10 years. We parents need to remember that if God has forgiven and forgotten All of their acts, we must do no less. We have to move on; not being naive, but not dredging up a past event.

3. Work out your salvation with fear and trembling. (Phil. 2:12)
All of us struggle with certain sin areas in our life. We may struggle with anger, pride, vanity, lying etc. The struggle is not the sin. We have a savior who is with us and who has overcome sin. Knowing your weakness is half the battle; the other half is the "working it out." I tell my children where they have strength and where they have weakness so they can prepare themselves for the next temptation that comes their way. Talk to your children when they are not in a time of struggle and let them know again that they are loved and you are praying for them, but it is up to them to work on these areas.

I have learned much recently about God. I knew that he was a Good Father and that his love has been rejected many times by those he loves, but I had forgotten that All of his chosen children, those of us who call ourselves "Christians" still Fall everyday. The good news is that we, like our children, will wake up one day and find that the struggle is over and that we are with Christ.

Be The One

Saving us from "Being Good."

Recently, I was at a convention where I had a booth for Be The One. I wanted to talk with people about the orphan crisis and share with them the need for adoptive families. I also wanted to encourage those who have taken the first steps and were looking onto adoption. I had many individuals stop by the booth to see what we did and many admitted that they had thought of adopting. Statistically, 30% of adults have thought about adoption, yet sadly only 1% follow through for various reasons. With all the conversations on that weekend, the saddest one occurred with a father of two children. When I asked if he had ever thought of adoption, he said very matter-of-factly, I have 2 children and "we're good." 

 Many people think they are good because they have all the trappings of a good life: marriage, children, job, church, friends. However, if we want to be honest about our Christianity and what we are called to do, it is not to be "good." In fact, Psalm 14:3 says "there is no one who does good, not even one."  Jesus calls us to live dangerously. (What else could "take up your cross and follow me mean?) Those of us who have stepped out in one way or another understand that we are not here for ourselves but for the other billions of people on this planet. Only God is good. We are called to be holy (set apart for a purpose) as Jesus is holy. This can only be accomplished if we are doing the purpose we have been called to. We can never be good if our only measuring tool is how full our life is of activities or even of blessings.

I know there are many people who are serving Christ in various ministries and I love hearing their stories as much as adoption stories because they are moving in the direction of becoming more like Jesus. What I dislike hearing is Christians thinking they're good when in fact they are standing still; not following the promptings of the Holy Spirit. If you have felt that nudging in a certain direction, I urge you to do more than "be good." I urge you to pray that the God who is good will lead you into the good purpose he has for you.

 Be The One


     

A Tale of Two Mailboxes

Accepting The Gift

I can not write this post without telling you what I think is one of the most disturbing things about giving gifts. Many people think of a gift as a "give me." They do not receive a "gift" as much as they acquire a "thing." What I mean is that when a person expects a gift and it's not quite what they thought it should be, their mind wanders to the idea that, "I can go exchange it and get something I really wanted. I know that I have been guilty of this in the past. We don't see the gift as a symbol of the love of the person behind it. It ceases to be a gift and becomes a requirement.

Just as bad is the thought by the giver that I will just get "anything" and if they don't like it, they can take it back. This usually happens when we don't know a person well or it seems they have everything.We feel pressure to buy something - anything. However, a gift is special because it is unwarranted and not required. It is presented to a person not for anything they have done but simply because the giver wanted to give. There is a joy in taking someone by surprise and giving knowing that nothing was done to deserve it.

So, I think you know where I am going with this.  In this Christmas season, there are many gifts given but the 1st Christmas there was only 1. God himself showed up and gifted us with his presence. He surprised us with unmerited favor. We did nothing to deserve it and he certainly didn't make this effort lightly thinking if we didn't want it, we could exchange it.  Friends, there is only 1 way. There is only 1 gift good enough. We might reject it but the gift is still given.

 What is your response?  Have you joyfully received it?  Have you opened it to know the wonderful love of the Father?  If not, why? It was sent just for you.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

I love the end of the year and the opportunity it gives us to look back and see all that God has done in our lives and through our lives. When we began Be The One two years ago, we were following the desire of God’s heart. The bible says, “I will not leave you as orphans…”  We believe that God is moving to bring children into families and thereby into a relationship with His son Jesus. It is a privilege to partner with God on this mission and I am so thankful when people respond to his prompting and give to Be The One.

Why do we work to bring children into forever families? Why do we tell our stories of adoption? Why do we give out grants to families on the journey to their child? It is only because of the One. 

The 1 who gives us life,

The 1 who sets us free,

The 1 who sacrificed everything,

The 1 who forgives us our sins,

The 1 who lavishes us with love and grace…… Jesus.

 When you know the mercy you have been shown, I mean really know it, then you will eagerly embrace the mission of helping others find that same grace and mercy. We would welcome any end of the year donation you feel called to give. All the money will be used to help bring another child home.

The Board of Be The One wishes you a Merry Christmas and a Joyous New year!

Mary Beth              Janice             Carol

            Sara                    Mary

                           

     

                                 NATIONAL ADOPTION DAY  NOV. 22, 2014


Why do we need an "Adoption Day?"  

1. To celebrate families who have grown their families through the adoption of a child.
2. To remind people of the millions of children still waiting in foster care and institutions worldwide.

Why celebrate?

1. Those who were without families now have families to call their own.
2. Families are given the privilege of sharing God's heart for the  orphan.

How do we celebrate?

1. We share our stories: the good and the bad.
2. We encourage those on the journey of adoption.

In the New Testament Jesus is often heard to say truly, truly... or verily, verily... He does this to emphasize that something he is saying is very important. He is telling us to pay attention and listen up.
When I talk to individuals about adoption, I want to say these same words.

       Truly, truly.... there are millions of children in need of families
     
       Truly, truly.... they don't care how old you are, what color your skin is, how much you make     or what kind of home you live in.
      
       Truly, truly..... families just like you: those with fears and doubts, trust God and begin the journey not knowing how the end will turn out.
         
        Truly, truly... God cares for the orphan and is using Christians everywhere to bring his children HOME!

Pay attention.......      Listen up........     Open your eyes......    And your hearts.....

                                 BE THE ONE

We All Have Scars

 I finally had the chance to see the movie "Raggamuffin" which tells the story of Rich Mullins, a phenomenal Christian song writer who struggled with himself and his past. At one point he was talking about not being afraid to have scars and it got me thinking. Most of us have scars both physical and emotional. We have tried things and failed, or we are struggling with our past, or we have a thought pattern that we can't shake. We know we can't be perfect and that everyone struggles; yet, we hide our scars, (our shortcomings) and pretend that things are good, or that we have gotten past something, or that we may be in a difficult situation now but we will get through it soon.

As I was thinking of this God reminded me that Jesus didn't hide his scars, in fact he showed them as proof that he was Jesus and that he had struggled. In two of the gospels he shows his scars. Now, why would he do this when I'm sure his words could have sufficed? I think one reason his scars were resurrected with him is because "by his wounds we are healed" (emphasis mine). He is identifying with our humanity   Because of His obedience to God which resulted in the scars he wore, we were given a new life. The scars are the testament that He overcame.

Our own scars can have the same testimony if we let them. Yes, we struggled. Yes, we fell. Yes, something didn't turn out the way it was supposed to, BUT, through the help of what Jesus did for us and the work of the Holy Spirit, we overcame. Jesus said, "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

So, don't hide your scars, show them to others who are struggling. Let them know that Christians have problems too. The bible tells us to confess our faults to one another. This is not so we won't feel guilty anymore. It is to help those who still struggle. Who can understand the temptation of alcohol but an alcoholic? Who can know the pain of having a wayward child but another parent whose child has turned their back on them? I can't count the number of times that friends have encouraged me by sharing their own personal struggles. Showing our scars helps others to realize that they too can overcome whatever trial they are now facing.

When we show our scars, we help others heal. Ironically awesome isn't it?